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Guard the Spark

by Kristopher Wright

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1.
Your thoughts like a bow and string Where melody intertwines The carefully constructed lines Of the songs that you sing I can sense all your love and rage Your passion’s beyond a doubt But how is that working out As you look from the stage? When you’re pouring your heart out for years And the audience never appears? It is not enough to hope for comfort It is not enough to be sincere It is not enough to wish for something It is not enough to hope they’ll hear I’ve seen how you guard the spark But how can it ever last? The words never seem to pass The proscenium arch If you want to persevere Acknowledge you must dismiss Your dueling antagonists Ambition and fear With that cold contradiction inside You will always be unsatisfied It is not enough to hope for comfort It is not enough to be sincere It is not enough to wish for something It is not enough to hope they’ll hear Now just as the curtain’s drawn You’re burning like firewood That each line is understood And their moved by your songs And then shower their praise down on your soul Well, my friend, that’s beyond your control It is not enough to hope for comfort It is not enough to be sincere It is not enough to wish for something It is not enough to hope they’ll hear It is not enough to count your sorrows It is not enough to sing your tears It is not enough to need them forever It is not enough to hope they’ll hear
2.
The pleasure of buying The spreading of money The enjoyment of all the things that paychecks can buy Are making happy all the thousands of families This is Total War, now.
3.
Drop with me down upon the suburb Where I spent my youth Notice here a line of shady trees And the pool party, too Where the paperboy drives a Suburban Brick mailboxes line the drive Where the children will play in the anthills Just to prove that they’re still alive Carports and calendar girls A white Chevrolet that you wash when you’re feeling like going outside Children running to hide Sprinklers ticking the minutes away from their innocent lives And the city it frightens you So you live close enough to commute And the weeds in your flowerbed scare you The minorities, too Ambitious but don’t make a difference Be the first to be king of your block Be enslaved to your corporate successes And your wife’s biological clock Carports and calendar girls A white Chevrolet that you wash when you’re feeling like going outside Children running to hide Sprinklers ticking the minutes away from their innocent lives Something sinister walks through the suburbs Here I am as a child standing by Here’s the sun beating down on the pavement Here it’s catching a glint in my eye See the adults ignore my seduction See it all in the length of my stare See a flame shoot across the horizon See the horns hidden under his hair Hear me wonder aloud, “Does he see me?” See a meteor crash in a field See the bargain of sin in an apple See me using my hand as a shield See me using my hand as a shield See me using my hand… Carports and calendar girls A Lincoln Mark VIII with a vanity plate Reading clearly “ITS MINE” Going out for a drive. See them giving it all in exchange for a monochrome life My monochrome life My monochrome life See them giving it all in exchange See them giving it all in exchange See them giving it all for my monochrome life My monochrome life My monochrome life
4.
Mandy, your love is true There’s so much you’ve been through And when your heart was given to you It taught you what to do Mandy, your love is real It left you broken on a wheel And when you gave up trying to heal It taught you what you won’t reveal But the awful truth you hardly realize: All the fiction in what you fantasize Mandy, with your water weary eyes Though your heart is true, your memory lies Though your heart is true, your memory lies…
5.
I was a college boy from the setting sun Never listened to anyone. Oh no. No no no no. You go to school, to the head of the class It doesn’t matter after you pass Oh no. No no no no. And they sing, “Hallelay Hallelujah Hallelay, What’s it to you?” No. No no no no. There’s a simple thing, but it’s easy to miss You can find it in your lover’s kiss Oh no. No no no no no no no no Now singalong now… Ooo We Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo We Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo We Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo We Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Then they set you up with a full time job Live each day like you’re being robbed Oh no. Oh no no no. You want to find that clown who sang, “Forever Young” ‘Cause now you answer to everyone Oh no. No no no no. And they sing, “Hallelay Hallelujah Hallelay, What’s it to you?” No. No no no no. There’s a simple thing, but it’s easy to miss You can find it in your baby’s kiss Oh no. No no no no no no no no But don’t lose yourself…
6.
Ambition! I caught you again! Ambition! You too the reigns again! How many times must you fail Before the lesson’s learned? Ambition! My old sad friend… let’s go What drives a man up a mountain? Or frees a statue from the stone? What makes a burned out poet try To say something with the same old notes? When there’s no one listening And you’re getting old? Ambition! You still take hold… come on now, take my hand now… Fear! You killed me again! Fear! I’m staying home again Afraid of rejection mostly Afraid of correction, partly Afraid that sincerity Might not be good enough… cause it’s not…
7.
These are days of little things Days drawn in chalk If you’re going to hide your limp You gotta change the way you walk You pass through darkness to enter the world Scratch around to find your worth Then you lose your innocence And sing about your birth And you sing this way: Sometimes I feel like a child Sometimes I feel like a child Sometimes I feel like a child Who never had a home Now there aren’t too many left Just a wall of whispering Voices in my head Like some old fever dream She’s calling from the plane Flying over me today I can’t find the words to say So I tell her I will wave Everything limps along till it dies Everything limps along until death I can barely stand up now And it ain’t no way to live No it ain’t no way Sometimes I feel like a child Sometimes I feel like a child Sometimes I feel like a child Who never had a home There are words I want to say I gotta say them in a whole new way But I was born in ’78 And I taught myself to shave They make you too grown-up to love And too smart to let your troubles drown So there’s not much to hold you up When the words aren’t pouring out
8.
If she’s the one who could Save you from yourself And if she’s the one who could Magically restore your health If you think to yourself That you know that she’s the one Well, I think you might have some complications If she’s the one who could Somehow make you see And if she’s the one who could Reconnect you to your dreams If you think to yourself That you know that she’s the one Well, I think you might have some complications Yes sir… And if she’s the one could Release you from your past And if she’s the one who says, “All you have to do is ask..” If you think you’d give it all away ‘Cause you know that she’s the one Well, I think you might have some complications
9.
Black It Out 03:22
Your memory is long But your time is short You’re the only one who knows So what’re you crying for? They can turn you out Twist you around Until you feel you’re nothing at all Then they do their worst and forget you That’s how you fall That’s how you fall… So I say Black it out Black it out, now Black it out Black it out, now Water turns to wine And then to vinegar You wait around so long That’s there’s only one way to learn You gotta suck it down Head hit the ground Until you remember nothing at all Then the fog inside is lifted And you don’t feel small No not at all So Black it out Black it out now Black it out Black it out now
10.
She want to be a scientist Now she’s a parking lot attendant Down by the bank You want to be an astronaut? Is that the best you’ve got? A damned parking lot? Goodnight, universe Goodnight, universe Goodnight I never owned a telescope But I can understand the feeling The Ecstatic Dream If you’re going to fight to claim the stars Or write a song on your guitar You’ll bear the scars Goodnight, universe Goodnight, universe Goodnight If they know the words, they’ll sing along And if they don’t they’ll call you wrong And every punch just makes them strong Until they stop your song Can’t spin a fantasy for you But I can hold you close and whisper “Face the truth” For every consummated dream Marks the death of seventeen And stars go unseen Goodnight, universe Goodnight, universe Goodnight There’s no shame in it There’s no shame in it There’s no shame in it There’s no shame in it Goodnight Goodnight
11.
We had dreams Worn out things They came to the best of us And burned with our wings We had lives Untroubled minds And all we aspired to Saw none of it coming true Still we know When darkness grows Those dreams we could not fulfill They bring us together still So we all sang a song out of season A song long removed from the Top 40 charts We all sang a song out of season A song that inhabits our innermost hearts We sang a song out of season We had souls Virginal Our passions were justified So those were our goals We had songs Kept us strong And each little lyric sheet Was closer than family So we know When darkness grows The slightest of melodies Can work like a remedy So we all sang a song out of season A song long removed from the Top 40 charts We all sang a song out of season A song that inhabits our innermost hearts We sang a song out of season So we know When darkness grows And life’s looking monochrome We don’t have to be alone So we all sang a song out of season A song long removed from the Top 40 charts We all sang a song out of season A song that inhabits our innermost hearts We sang a song out of season And there’s nothing I’ve forgotten…

about

About my youth
Written in my 20's
Recorded in my 30's
Finally being released in my early 40's

"Guard the Spark" is an extremely personal album, laying out the things I felt deeply in my youth and 20s. I recorded it in bits and pieces over a long period of time - the earliest recording comes from 2005 and most of the album was started before 2012, when life started getting in the way of my musical ambitions. From the perspective of 2020 I feel both close to this material and thoroughly distant. I'm not exactly the person who wrote these songs anymore, but the current Kris Wright grew out of all this emotional manure.

Uh... I mean that in the best way possible.

You know, albums shouldn't really be carried this long. That should be a warning to all the young songwriters out there: Get your music out now. Don't let other people stop your songs, because they'll do it if you let them. Don't let fear keep you from your ambitions. And don't worry if your voice doesn't sound all that great on the final recording. (The people who complain about that were looking for an excuse to not listen to your words in the first place.)

Themes of loss, failure, memory, forgiveness, shame, fear, loneliness... you know, all the fun flowering of youth. Some shading of social satire, too. Hope you can tell when I'm just horsing around. (Hint, the Skrillex knock-off stuff in "A Simple Thing" is a joke.) Probably proudest of songs like "My Monochrome Life", "Goodnight, Universe" and "Song Out of Season" that disguise an unrepentant fury under all that poetry. A couple of kick-ass guitar solos, too.

Anyway, it ain't for everybody. Hope you can enjoy it, though.

credits

released July 7, 2020

Stephanie Wright - Electric Piano and Drums on "It Is Not Enough"
Kristopher Wright - Literally Everything Else

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Kristopher Wright Austin, Texas

Kris is too tired to write yet another biography in the third-person in an attempt to trick you guys into thinking he has a publicist or something. Just listen to the songs or don't. I don't care anymore.

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